


I Still Want You

by westantalent



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I wrote this instead of homework, M/M, basically just yuwin being adorable, everyone knows except yuta, maybe some additional ships that i haven't mentioned, me too mark me too, pls correct me lmao my vision is getting hazy, poor mark is just confused, sicheng is jealous, these tags aren't very accurate are they, yuwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23598958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westantalent/pseuds/westantalent
Summary: Sicheng was scared. Of what exactly? He wasn't sure. He didn't like that heavy feeling on his chest as he watched Yuta wrap his arms around Mark's waist from behind and cling onto him. He didn't think it was jealousy. What was it then? Whatever it was he always pushed it down and found a way to leave the area. Everyone noticed. Everyone but Yuta.Or; Sicheng is kinda jealous and just wants Yuta to hug him and tell him everything's okay.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 6
Kudos: 97





	I Still Want You

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not have chosen this title because I was on a BTS marathon.  
> I also may or may not have been going on WAY too many marathons.  
> It's comeback season again and I'm not ready.  
> But I hope everyone is staying safe! Take care of yourselves~

Sicheng was exhausted. Not of dancing. Not tired physically. No. he was just _tired_. He didn't know how to describe it. He wanted to sleep for a month and then wake up to pancakes and happiness and rainbows. Or to Yuta. 

It had been a while since Sicheng had seen any of his bandmates from NCT 127. He missed them all, but missing Yuta hit different. His other half was in another area of the world, all the way in Korea while he was in China. He will admit though, he was in his element. He enjoyed singing in his native language. He was confident. But of course, NCT 127 was also very dear and important to him. He was there before he came to WayV after all. That's why Sicheng screeched and fell off the couch when Kun said they'd be going back to Korea. This simply made his members laugh and tease him, which made him blush and escape to his room. That's where he stayed the rest of the night. NCT 127 went live at some point so he curled up in his bed and watched the video, the only source of light in the room was his tablet. 

He smiled at the sight of them all having fun. He watched Yuta, who didn't seem to change at all since he last saw him. Then he frowned. Everyone could notice how touchy Yuta had been with Mark. Sicheng usually didn't mind. He found it cute when his boyfriend was like that because it was so _Yuta_. Hugging the members from behind or throwing his arm around their shoulders. But this time, watching the live, Sicheng felt scared. The fear made his heart beat faster, it felt like a weight on his chest waiting to swallow him whole. He didn't understand what he was afraid of. He trusted Yuta. Probably more than anyone else. Why was he afraid? Taking a deep breath, he turned his tablet off, suddenly not in the mood to watch the rest of the live. He set it on the bedside cabinet to his right. Sicheng lay awake that night, pondering what it was that made him feel so scared, so vulnerable. At around 4 in the morning, he finally started feeling a little sleepy. _It's okay. I'm going to Korea soon anyway. We'll be okay._ Those were his last thoughts before he drifted into a dreamless sleep. 

* * *

"Excited?" Ten asked as they headed towards 127's dorms. Sicheng simply smiled at him, unable to use words to describe how he was feeling. He picked up his pace, encouraging his members to walk faster to catch up with him. And then he stopped, causing Hendery to bump into him and then raise an eyebrow at the sudden action. Sicheng smiled sheepishly and muttered an apology. They continued walking. Kun slowed down to walk alongside Sicheng, who had moved so he was standing behind everyone else. 

"Everything okay?" Kun asked in a low voice. Sicheng sighed. He was originally so excited to come to Korea and finally see everyone. See Yuta. And then suddenly he was dreading it. He didn't want to feel whatever he felt when he was watching that vlive. _Stop being so dramatic_.

"Earth to Dong Sicheng," Kun said, waving a hand in Sicheng's face. Surprised, Sicheng turned to face Kun who was watching him with concern.

"Just a little nervous," Sicheng assured him. 

"You sure?" Kun asked, not satisfied with that answer. Sicheng nodded and smiled. He probably looked like the Joker with how fake his smile was. But Kun seemed to let it slide, patting him on the back.

"You'll be fine," He said to him, slinging an arm over his shoulder. Sicheng took a deep breath. Yeah, he'll be fine. And before he knew it they found themselves inside the dormitory, where hugs and greetings were exchanged.

He scanned the room until his eyes locked with Yuta's, whose entire face lit up upon seeing Sicheng. It made him feel giddy and warm, the way Yuta looked at him. Yuta slowly walked over until he stood right in front of Sicheng. 

"Hey," he said softly, moving forward and wrapping his arms around Sicheng's neck. It was at that moment that he realized just how much he had missed Yuta. He missed seeing him in real life. He missed everything about him. His warm, healing smile, the way his eyes shined like the stars when he looked up at him, the feeling of security he got whenever he was around Yuta. All of it. He missed all of it. 

"Hi," he said quietly, smiling at the older and wrapping his arms around Yuta's waist to pull him closer. 

"I missed you," Yuta told him, leaning forward so that their foreheads touched. 

"I missed you too," Sicheng replied. Holding Yuta close, he breathed in his scent. _Everything's going to be okay_.

* * *

"THIS IS NOT OKAY!" Taeyong yelled a the top of his lungs as he frantically waved the fire extinguisher around, attempting to put out the small fire in their kitchen. 

"Why did I trust you when you said you got better at cooking?!" Mark yelled to Donghyuck over the loud as heck fire alarm. 

"You should've known better!" Donghyuck snapped back.

"How is this my fault?!"

"WHO EVEN LET THEM INTO THE KITCHEN?!"

"Oh my god move I'll try to put it out,"

"MY SLEEVE'S ON FIRE!"

"That's the table cloth! Wait..."

"HOLY CRAP THE TABLE CLOTH!"

"Save the holy cloth!"

And that was just day number one. Already chaos and it hadn't even been 24 hours since they arrived. Once the disaster died down and they had investigated the damage, Sicheng's bandmates from WayV decided to turn in for the night since they were tired from the flight, all of them except Kun. Kun was worried about Sicheng. The other night, after he woke up at an ungodly hour to get some water, Kun realized that Sicheng had gone to his room surprisingly early and never came out. After getting a drink of water, he slowly walked into the room to check on him. He seemed to be sleeping soundly, so Kun shrugged it off and walked into the living room. He didn't feel sleepy anymore, so he decided to borrow Sicheng's tablet and watch something until he felt tired again. He quietly walked into the room, picked up the tablet and walked out. He knew Sicheng wouldn't mind him borrowing it. Kun turned the tablet on and waited as a page loaded on the vlive app that was already open. It was a video posted by NCT 127. It was paused, and the scene showed Yuta, who had his arms wrapped around Mark's neck from behind, the latter trying to carry him up. He wondered how that had made Sicheng feel. 

And in 127's dorms, he noticed the look on Sicheng's face as Yuta whispered something to Mark, who then broke out in laughter, making everyone stare at him. Kun just hoped that Sicheng would talk to someone if he wasn't feeling okay. He watched as Sicheng hung his head, being one of the only ones who weren't laughing at Mark's laughter. Kun didn't seem to be the only one who noticed. He exchanged a look with Taeyong, who seemed to pick up the vibe that something was wrong. 

Sicheng was sitting right next to Yuta, but it felt like he was miles away. Even as Yuta put his hand gently on Sicheng's, his gaze never leaving Mark who was telling him something he'd done as a child, Sicheng felt like they were far apart. 

Kun decided to save Sicheng when Mark hit Yuta on the arm, making Yuta use both hands to attack back. 

"Sicheng?" Kun called, abruptly standing up and making all eyes turn to him. He cleared his throat. He didn't mean to attract that much attention. "Could you help me out with something?" Sicheng simply nodded, getting up and following Kun to where the rest of WayV were staying. Taeyong, unable to contain his curiosity, got up and chased after them, leaving the others confused. 

When Sicheng asked Kun what he could help him with, Kun simply suggested that he get some rest. Sicheng was confused, but gladly took up the offer and headed to where he would be sleeping. That's when Taeyong joined Kun.

"You noticed too?" Kun asked. Taeyong nodded in reply. 

"I can talk to Yuta," He offered. Kun shook his head. "Sicheng should be the one to do it. It's between them, whatever it is. We shouldn't get involved and make it a bigger problem."

And that was the first time Sicheng let his "jealousy" show. He convinced himself in his head that it would also be the last. It wasn't. 

* * *

The next morning Yuta was the first one up. The night before, he had gone to Sicheng's room but the younger was already sound asleep, so he left and went to lay in his own bed, surrounded by his thoughts.

Yuta brushed his teeth and changed into a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. He then grabbed his phone and collapsed onto the sofa in the living room, looking out the window and admiring the sunrise. It was a surprise he had gotten up so early. He thought that it would be a while before anyone else wakes up but he was proven wrong when Mark and Donghyuck walked into the living room. Mark sighed, shaking his head at something Donghyuck said, which only made Donghyuck's smile brighter. He chuckled and grinned at Mark, causing the older to smack his arm while attempting to hide his own smile. Yuta watched the sight with amusement.

"Good morning," he said, smiling up at the two. That startled the duo, as they had not noticed Yuta. 

"Morning," Donghyuck replied. 

"Morning good," Mark said, making the other two roll their eyes. 

"I'll be in the kitchen-" Donghyuck started.

"NO!" Mark and Yuta said in unison. Donghyuck glared at them, narrowing his eyes.

"-to get some water." He finished and walked away, leaving Mark and Yuta to laugh at him.

"Slept well?" Mark asked after a while. 

"Barely slept at all," Yuta replied. Mark gave him a look of sympathy and patted him on the back. 

"You should sleep earlier tonight then," he suggested. Yuta nodded. He leaned his head on Mark's shoulder as Mark scrolled through his phone. At that moment they heard hushed voices coming from the kitchen. Donghyuck walked in and settled comfortably on the couch, followed by Sicheng, who stopped abruptly upon seeing Yuta.

"Good morning," Yuta said cheerfully, lifting his head off of Mark's shoulder to get a good look at his boyfriend. Sicheng just looked at him for a few seconds. Mark looked up at Sicheng, who just stared. He blinked at them.

"Good morning?" He said though it seemed more like a question. He cleared his throat. "I'll be in my room," he said as he gave the trio a tight smile and walked out. Mark and Donghyuck exchanged a look. 

That was the second time Sicheng let his "jealousy" show. The third time was the scariest for him.

127 and WayV were all gathered around in the living room, watching as Mark, Jaehyun and Johnny played Jenga. Rather aggressively. There were occasional outbreaks of laughter when Jaehyun would rage quit and destroy the tower on purpose. Taeyong would then be responsible for calming him down by reminding him of how many times he'd beat Johnny at the game.

Mark ended up winning that round. He hadn't won once up till that point so everyone began clapping for him as he nodded and bowed. Yuta didn't stop there though. He hugged Mark from behind and started tickling him. He continued despite Mark's yells of protest. Eventually, Mark was laying down on the floor with Yuta practically on top of him as Mark grabbed his wrist's, trying to get him to stop. Sicheng felt that feeling in his chest again. And after feeling it so many times...he finally knew what it was he was feeling. After thinking about it during many sleepless nights, he came to a conclusion. Jealousy wasn't the best word for it, but it was there. A mixture of jealousy and...something else.

Sicheng felt eyes on him. Yuta got off of Mark, who was coughing and panting heavily, trying to catch his breath. Sicheng needed to breathe too. He needed some air. He didn't feel like he had the right to feel the way he did. Yuta wasn't doing anything wrong. Sicheng needed to get out of there before he made any bad decisions. And that's exactly what he did. It just maybe wasn't the best way to do it. He simply stood up and started to the door, ignoring all calls of his name, and proceeded to walk out. The second he made it outside he took a deep breath and stared up at the sky. He took many more deep breaths afterwards, attempting to calm himself down. _Great, I've made a fool of myself. When I told myself to leave I didn't mean exit the building entirely._

He groaned inwardly. He reached a wooden bench and sat down, leaning back and staring up at the clear blue sky. It was a peaceful day. He wondered if the kitchen would be in one piece by the time he got back to the dorms. He highly doubted it. He felt a presence next to him, he saw someone sit down beside him in his peripheral vision. He gave them no attention, didn't even spare them a glance. Not until he felt a hand rest gently on his. He then looked at the person next to him.

 _Yuta_. He swallowed and looked away. Yuta squeezed his hand lightly. They sat like that for a few minutes. They didn't talk. They were just there. Next to each other on a park bench. 

Sicheng took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry," he said. He finally looked Yuta in the eyes again. 

"We can talk at home," Yuta said softly. Sicheng's heart skipped a beat. "Do you need to stay a little longer?" The Japanese asked. Sicheng shook his head. Yuta got up and Sicheng followed suit. The walk was silent as the older, still holding onto Sicheng's hand, led them back to the dorms.

When they entered the dorms, the rest of the WayV and 127 members immediately turned to look at them. Sicheng removed his hand from Yuta's and shoved it into the pocket of his own hoodie, not making eye contact with the rest.

"We'll be back," Yuta told the others, then gently grabbed Sicheng's arm and led him to his room. He then let go of him to shut the door. Sicheng walked toward the large windows, he crossed his arms and looked outside, his back to Yuta. The silence was kind of deafening. They both wanted to talk, none of them knew where to begin. After a few more moments of silence, Sicheng felt Yuta's arms wrap around his waist. The older rested his chin on Sicheng's shoulder.

"You've been pulling away," Yuta said quietly. Sicheng removed Yuta's arms from his waist and turned to face him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You've been a bit distant, almost guarded. Did something happen? Did I...do something wrong?" Sicheng swallowed. No, god no. Yuta hadn't done anything wrong. But Sicheng didn't know what to say or how to say it. Yuta let out a defeated sigh. He walked forward and grabbed Sicheng's hands.

"Talk to me, Sichengie," He pleaded. Sicheng's walls broke down. The soft look in Yuta's eyes, the way he patiently waited for Sicheng to tell him everything, it was too much. 

"I'm sorry," he started. "I don't know what's gotten into me. I just..." he trailed off, trying to form the right sentences in his head. 

"Yeah?" Yuta prompted. 

"I can't say I was jealous. Maybe jealousy was a part of it but it's much more complicated than that. Seeing you with Mark, it scared me. The way you act with him was the way you acted around me. I just...I was scared. I wanted you to feel something different with me. I wanted you to find...a different sort of comfort in me, the way I do with you. And seeing the way you acted around Mark...it seemed like you'd found that comfort in someone else. And of course, I'm happy if you're happy, but I want to make you feel a different type of happiness...it just seems that Mark already makes you feel that way. It's...it's complicated. It's stupid, but I really like what we have...I like us...I didn't want to lose my cool and say anything I'll regret...so I backed away every time anything happened. I'm sorry..." Sicheng's voice cracked at the end. He couldn't look Yuta in the eye. Yuta let go of Sicheng's hand, instead reaching up to cup his cheeks. 

"Look at me," he said, tilting Sicheng's head so that he was staring straight into his eyes. "No one can make me feel the way you make me feel. You _are_ my comfort, you're my home. I could never look at anyone the way I look at you. The way you make me feel is completely different from the way anyone else makes me feel. I was scared too, Sichengie. I missed your comfort, your touch, so I looked for comfort wherever I could find it. It wasn't the same. No one compares to you." Yuta gave Sicheng a peck on the lips as he saw the tears forming in the younger's eyes. 

"I'm sorry," Sicheng said again. Yuta shook his head.

"It's okay to be scared. But we'll get through it together. It's me and you. I've got you." The older assured him and leaned forward, kissing him again, this time longer. It was slow and sweet, Sicheng missed it. It had been way too long...

He wrapped his arms around Yuta's waist, pulling him closer and deepening their kiss. He felt the older smile into the kiss, and couldn't help smiling as well. They were going to be okay, as long as they had each other. 

Yuta pulled away, still staying in Sicheng's arms and staring up at him with a sparkle in his eyes. The younger beamed down at him. "You're really pretty," Sicheng said suddenly, making Yuta laugh. 

"I love you," Yuta said, pinching his cheeks. Sicheng chuckled. "I love you too, Yuyu," he said, leaning in to kiss Yuta, this time more passionately. It went on for a while, just the two of them in each other's presence. 

"YIKES!" The both pulled away and turned toward the door to face a very shocked Lucas. "I- I'm sorry- I didn't-" he cleared his throat and quickly waddled out of the room. Sicheng groaned, covering the blush on his face with his hands. Yuta laughed and pulled the younger into a hug. The younger hugged him back tightly, hiding his face in Yuta's neck. 

"I'm never looking Lucas in the eye again," he muttered, Yuta smiled, playing with Sicheng's hair. He didn't want their moment to end. 

* * *

"Hyung? You okay?" Yangyang asked Lucas, who had been spacing out while they were talking. "Are Yuta hyung and Sicheng hyung okay?" 

"Oh they're fine, they are perfect, and I am traumatized!" Lucas exclaimed. The others gave him confused looks, except Taeyong, who gave him a knowing look.

"Anyone up for another game of Jenga?" Taeyong suggested cheerfully, making the rest of them groan as Jaehyun laughed. 

Maybe some stories do have happy endings. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Have a nice day~


End file.
